Day 7: For the Love of Running

Wednesday April 20: Day 7

I had a funny dream last night. I dreamed that I was walking along and suddenly had a sickeningly sweet taste in my mouth. “Oh no,” I thought in my dream, “I’ve ruined my sugar fast!” In the dream, I had no recollection of eating anything, something sweet just appeared in my mouth!

When I woke up, at first I was greatly relieved to find that it had only been a dream. But then I realized that if I do somehow slip up and forgetfully lick a finger with brownie batter on it, take a sip of the wrong cup of coffee that has sugar in it, something of that sort, I’m not going to scrap this whole sugar fast for the sake of one absent-minded moment. If I do mess up, I’ll still feel honest saying I went for one year without sugar without feeling the need to say: “I went for one year without sugar except for a lick of batter at 3:41 pm on Tuesday, May 17.” If someone questions me closely, I’d be happy to admit any failures. But I’m not going to feel the need to qualify every time.

Having said that, there is no way I going to allow myself any deliberate licks or sneaks. A conscious decision to take one big lick of brownie batter would lead to a conscious decision to take a spoonful, and then another spoonful.

But isn’t that just like life? Whenever we set ourselves to some sort of discipline, a kind of extreme perfectionism haunts our every step. We tell ourselves that if we can’t do something absolutely perfect, we might as well not try at all. One mess up that could have been easily overlooked becomes our downfall.

And yet, as soon as we ward off perfectionism, next we have to watch for the danger of slacking. I really want to go a year without sugar, not a year with less sugar.

Today I felt significantly less of the niggling hunger that I had felt the last 5 days. Just a tinge of it remains. Also, today I thought: how silly that I was expecting my body to adjust immediately to running without the primary source of fuel it had been used to. Of course this is going to take time. But that the body is able to adapt, I have no doubt. I just need to be patient.

I’m sure my body didn’t appreciate all the sugar I was pumping into it, but it had to learn to cope with is as best it could. Now that the sugar is gone, my system is probably afraid to make too many adjustments to its burning style too quickly, in case the sugar assault comes back at any moment. But over time I plan to coax it to burn fat, to train it that the sugar really is gone, and it can switch things up.

You may be thinking that I was a complete sugar freak, but I think my intake was well within the average for an American. It may have been lower, because I’ve never been one to drink soda regularly. I’d have a teaspoon of sugar in my tea each morning, a teaspoon my coffee mid morning, a couple small pieces of chocolate after lunch, and a cookie or occasionally a bowl of ice cream before bed. I wasn’t eating bon-bons all day people. Not all day. But it’s amazing what just a little bit of something harmful can do?

I’ve been jogging a 5K for the last couple of weeks but today I felt much less sluggish than I had been feeling. I’m not a natural runner at all. I only got to this place by following the couch to 5K free app that trains you. I don’t have goals to run even a half marathon partly because of the time it would take. Also, I have to admit, I don’t really like running. To make matters worse, I’ve been making myself run uphill for the first half of my jogs. Here in Colorado where there’s less oxygen, this feels brutal, but today I felt as though maybe just maybe my lungs are starting adjust.

I don’t have lungs with a naturally high capacity. I’ve noticed that the state of some people’s bodies when they don’t exercise is decidedly more fit than other people who get the same amount non-exercise. My own sedentary state is not a positive one. For instance, when a kind and generous friend bought me a Fitbit as a present just after my husband had lost his job, I found out that my resting heart rate was consistently around 91. So although I was not a complete couch potato--I walked around a lot more in a typical day than someone with a desk job would--this was not a healthy resting heart rate at all.

Six weeks later, after jogging three times a week, recently uphill for half, and walking the other three days I wasn’t jogging, my resting heart rate has consistently dropped down to around 71.

Looking at the resting heart rate graph on the Fitbit screen, is just about the most motivating thing to exercise that has ever happened to me!

It sure is more motivating than looking at the scale, which actually didn’t move one spec until this week that I gave up sugar. I must have been eating more to make up for the extra calories I was burning walking and running.

I sometimes hear people say something along the lines of: "there was once this lady who drank only Coke, smoked 2 packs a day, and lived to 110." Often, the implication seems to be that it doesn’t matter what a person does. Or worse yet, some people want to claim the Coke and cigarettes made her live that long. But that’s not the moral that I get from the story. The moral I get is that lady had incredible genes that allowed her body to somehow survive horrific abuse. But not for a second do I think that either myself, or 99.99% of Americans, can apply her story to our experience.

On my mom’s side of the family is cancer. Her two parents had breast cancer and prostate cancer. Then, all three of their daughters had breast cancer. The four ladies survived breast cancer, my grandpa died of prostate cancer.

Then on my dad’s side, we have type 2 diabetes and heart disease. So there you have it. Put the genes together and you have cancer, heart disease and type 2 diabetes, all in one person. I wouldn’t make it till 40 on cigarettes and Coke.

But the fact that I would have a higher resting heart rate, lower muscle content, higher body fat if I never exercised than other people who also never exercise, doesn’t get me down. I just figure my role is to simply do the best I can with what I’ve been given.

And plus, I said that I don’t like to run. But I actually do like some of it. When I’m sitting in my house, nice and cozy, I have to fight with myself to get out the door.

But once I’m out there, I’m quickly overcome by the brilliance of the azure Colorado sky. Today I felt like I could stare at the loveliness of that color forever. A smattering of the puffiest white clouds formed a stunning contrast. The sun was bright, but the air had just the right amount of coolness for my intense workout. Redwing blackbirds chirped and sang on the rushes lining the stream I ran alongside. The sound of the bubbling spring water made the world seem alive and fresh. There was no place that I wanted to be more than outside, filling my lungs with air, and moving my legs.

I often think while I run, there will come a time, if I’m blessed to live long, that I’ll no longer be able to run. But today, what a blessing that I can run, even if not very fast. I do not have a MS, or Parkinson’s, or bad knees, or arthritis...yet. And, I’ve been free from sugar slavery for very close to a week. Yes, it’s been a very good day!